Diary Entries

On the 16th March, 2020 the enormity of CoVid-19 and its destructive path, compelled me to write this Prayer from my Heart! Holy Father, Blessed Jesus, Holy Mary, St Joseph, All Saints in Heaven, We our faithful people on Earth, gathered in Lockdown praying alone at home, Humbly pray to you in Heaven above, to bless, protect and keep us safe from CoVid-19, which is killing thousands on earth. This Virus is also threatening, endangering our health, animals, our food supply, placing Australia and the whole world in immense danger for the future. Dear God, We ask you to spare our Families, Relatives, Friends, and Our Aged. Protect our Religious, Health, Social Workers and Governments here and throughout our beautiful World. Bestow them wisdom, strength, caring and health for their daily work. Dear Holy Mary, Mother of God, Our Mother, Cover us with your mantle of gentleness and protection. Give us Peace, bestow our families and children comfort and hope for the future. We pray that you intercept on our behalf to God Almighty, Our Creator, that He will heal those already affected, comfort the moribund, and bless our beloved Elderly in the forefront of this cruel modern pandemic. All Angels and Saints in Heaven, we look up to you to also intercede on our behalf! Almighty God we are in your hands. More than ever we need your comfort. We LOVE, PRAY and PRAISE YOU, to learn from this to make and keep our Earth a better, safer, healthier place. AMEN

Saw an elderly couple yesterday alive and happy doing shopping and feeling grateful that we have looked after our most vulnerable by social distancing and self isolating. I also feel proud for assisting our health care system by staying at home and looking after the well-being of our healthcare workers.

It’s 7.30am. I’ve been up an hour and already I have poured the chicken stock I made with last night’s roast chicken carcass down the sink, having left it on the bench to cool and forgotten it overnight. It sat in the grey light of the morning, an accusation of waste and neglect. I poured it out and took the soggy remains to the bin outside. It’s rubbish collection day. Yesterday, I read somewhere it has been 7 weeks since restrictions began. Yesterday my eight year old daughter wrote a line as part of her remote learning English lesson, that said: The kids at my school used to play chase (before the virus came). And I wanted to cry. I made toast and eggs for breakfast for the kids, a pot of leaf tea for M and I, and soaked homemade muesli. The eggs come from a friend’s farm, delivered once a week along with veggies and fruit. I ‘pay’ for this on a barter system. I manage their website. It’s working well. Most things are homemade now. my husband began making sourdough bread last year, having requested a sourdough bread making workshop for his birthday. He’s been making it ever since and it is divine. I lost my casual role as a booking assistant for a holiday letting company three days into the beginning of the domino days of early corona virus. I didn’t mind really. We’d already been asked to keep kids home if we could and I have one high schooler with ASD2 and one primary schooler. How does anyone teach, work, and run a house? Clearly people do, but how?

kindness, friendliness, people in passing taking the time to speak kindly, patience, are all the good things that have emerged in the time of coronavirus. out of anything bad there are good things that come. mine is to be proud to be Australian. thank you to all those people who have shared their positivity with me. I'm grateful.

I got on my bicycle today and rode along the river. There was red and white tape to keep people off the grass along the edges of the water near the train station but a few people had crossed over it. Some adolescents sitting shoulder to shoulder. Probably smoking pot. I didn't look. Further up the river there were people lying in swimming costumes in the long grass. I had not been out on my bike for about five weeks, partly because of all the pollen and my hayfever, and partly because it gets stressful having joggers and cyclists panting and puffing &; you don't know what the particles in the slip-stream are doing and if something will land on yr lips or in yr eye. Last time I went out I had leather ski gloves on and a balaclava and warm jackets, and now I'm in a T-shirt and shorts. They never said we could not go out and exercise here, or walk. I did plenty of walking. But even that got stressful sometimes in popular forests of a weekend. I missed my trip home to Sydney this spring, and am rescheduled to fly end of November, stay for Xmas. Could even re-book my hotels in Singapore stop-over, no extra cost. But who knows if the planes will be flying or if Singapore Airport will be open. I just have to make sure I stay alive. I want to see the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge again across the glittering coloured water as the ferry leaves Circular Quay. It's not a question of five bells, it's a question of coming to life again.

I am amazed at how quickly our freedoms were curbed and in just a blink of an eye, we were all just told to stop. We were running a marathon, and in the middle of the race, we were told to just stop. Many did stop. But most kept jogging, and then walking. We paused. Took a breath. And it hurt. It hurt our legs, our arms, our body, our ego. We could have died. Some did. But most of us did not. So we kept breathing — the panting turning into calmer breaths. And then we rested. But some did not — the frontliners, the “essential” workers, the heroes. Our own breaths kept us going, most of us, in the safety of our homes. But for others, there is no home to rest safely. Life just goes on. Simple thoughts cross my mind too. Did the birds wonder why there weren’t crowds on the beach? Did the whales and dolphins realise that the cruise ships stopped moving? Did we even bother to notice the changes around us that did not include humans? I feel very lucky to still have the freedom to have my own thoughts. It is amazing how this phenomenon has given us an opportunity to discover which freedoms are most valuable for us. What could be yours?

A long planned career break coincided with the most extraordinary events I can ever recall in my fifty seven years as a Sydney-sider. The break took on a special dimension when, by good luck, I landed a job as a driver and guide taking small groups of overseas visitors to the Blue Mountains. The role was at times challenging but also the perfect relief from nine-to-five office work. The clients were nearly always happy and excited to be in Australia, their feedback was immediate. Better still, I was living the dream of an outside job in the fresh air. I started in October 2019 as the business prepared for a very busy summer. The day trip to the Mountains was its most popular tour. But by March 2020 nearly everything in my commentary was turned upside down. “Dear guests, many parts of Sydney, including the lovely forested mountains and valleys we visit today are very vulnerable to wildfire.” I just loved explaining fire and its role in the bush. “In the ten years since the concept of Catastrophic had been introduced as a danger rating, there has not been cause to use it”, I would declare. And then the fires came - hideous, ferocious and yes, catastrophic. Driving through Bell after the fires, I simply gave up talking to the guests and let them look in silent disbelief and the near totally scorched earth that remained. The vehicle would slow, the cabin would grow quiet. Eva Cassidy’s Fields of Gold would lilt from the sound system in a mournful ode. Not long into February, the pandemic was looming. The coach parking bays at Bondi Beach, usually busting with buses, were now mostly empty. My career break is now over.

My husband and I lead a bushwalking group for retired people and were determined to keep fit enough to continue so we have walked EVERY day for the last 7 weeks. We initially walked the Cherry Tree Path 3.3km return in BOWRAL but when that got too busy to be sure of Social Distancing we've returned to the bush tracks in the Mount Alexandra Recreational Area and walked parts of the Box Vale Track to the Welby Weir and the 40 foot falls,as well as the 60 foot falls track over the Natai River behind Mt Alexandra. We've loved the bird life at the CecilHoskins Reserve as well as the Welby Dam. When it’s been wet and windy we've just donned our coats and walked around the town on footpaths. I started this adventure with a sore knee and back and a friend gave me her old exercise bike which I have ridden for 20 minutes everyday which has been beneficial. What I've missed, we swam 4 times a week for 30 minutes before this began and today we drove to the sea and what joy to swim again in the Woonona Sea Pool a little cool though. I've enjoyed learning to use zoom to enjoy our weekly church service and Connect Groups. We've also used it for U3A history lectures and Meditation. I've rearranged every cupboard in the house and built an extra store cupboard which I've laid out with air tight labeled boxes. I love to cook so I've cooked lots of new recipes from the newspaper and supermarket magazines. Pear and Blue Cheese Tart and Marmalade Bread and Butter pudding have been my husband's favorites. I almost feel guilty to say looking back I have enjoyed this time. With few commitments and my husband of 40 for company.

Part two. The next couple of weeks after that big day resulted in sudden crying episodes out of the blue, to looking inwards and noticing the people I lived with. I got used to the new normal – the quality time taken to make Ravensburger and Totoro puzzles, baking creatively, caring about the food we ate, dancing like an idiot with the whole family, crafting, eating dinner in candle-light. Life in the slow lane is so rewarding. No one overtaking you, no plans, no dramas, except Facebook groups like Inner West Mums which went off on people not following social distancing rules and a Class of 2000 Zoom Alumni catchup. I kinda got used it being slow - this hibernation where only the present mattered. Not the past or the future. All the things my favourite books about Slow Living preached about is now so easily achieved. I think there was a lot of growing up from a 4 year old, 38 year old (myself) and the 41 year old too. Approaching the eminent COVID lockdown my worst fear was to be trapped in my 50 square metre, cold, dungeony shoebox apartment in the Inner West. Now I fear going back to the usual. Afterall, I have realised I was trapped inside with my favourite people in the world, and I have really enjoyed being with them.

Part one. He’s home. He’s home all the time. He is WFH afterall. They wake up early. I hear them from bed, talking loudly; even louder than my 8 min meditation on the Insight timer app. Sleeping in is impossible in our shoebox apartment. I was hoping we won’t be in lockdown in this place, but when lockdown was announced in mid March we had no other choice. I get up slowly. I feel my body and I start to unravel my fancy yoga mat I got for my birthday. Despite all the free Zoom exercise videos, Facebook LIVE and Instagram LIVE exercise programs the net is overflowing with, I open up my Lola Berry ‘The Happy Life’ book with its photos of sun salutations, camel pose, wheel pose, butterfly pose and a pilate exercise from my mind. I am feeling strong on this day. Depending on my daughter’s mood, she would either join me, interrupt me or better yet leave me alone to fulfil this ritual. From mid March 2020 till about early May 2020 (close to two months) we have been in this lockdown which has ultimately lead to a flattening of the curve. The fear of getting COVID-19 was very real and in the first few weeks upon waking in the morning I would try to remind myself that I am not in fact in a nightmare but this is real life. Forced isolation, no freedom, no planning for the future, dreams on hold and as of 8 May, no job. I was laid off the day before Easter Friday. I felt shattered as it gave me purpose and also had colleagues I loved working with. I thought since they had allowed me to WFH and I was in their Zoom calls, I was valued and essential. To be continued...