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Date
TW: Eating disorders.
Okay virus, I'm ready for you to leave now.
I go back and forth in my head about everything. On the one hand, I feel so thankful that I still have work, but the prospect of traveling on public transport is so anxiety-inducing. I am suddenly very angry at my teenage self for not getting her license- which has never appealed to me, an anxious driver until now.
I have also left my sharehouse out of fear that I won't be able to make rent on my now reduced hours. This has meant moving in with my family, which hasn't been easy. My sister has been battling an eating disorder for the past 4 years. She is a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant person, but she can also be very volatile and difficult to live with. I'm living in my childhood bedroom again and I can hear her eating and purging in the next room. I don't know what else to offer her in terms of help. We keep saying to her, that's she's capable of anything, that she's amazing and talented, but eventually one gets weary from constantly having to say exclusively encouraging things to someone. It is especially hard to be nice to hear at times because she can so often be manipulative and cruel. Though I know this is not intentional it still hurts.
I am also completing my degree from my bedroom. I am, to be honest, gutted that I'm spending my final year of university like this. I am struggling to motivate myself and find myself exhausted after hours of zoom classes.
I'm dreaming of the days were we don't bathe in sanitizer, and when I can hug my loved ones again. Soon, it feels near now.
Okay virus, I'm ready for you to leave now.
I go back and forth in my head about everything. On the one hand, I feel so thankful that I still have work, but the prospect of traveling on public transport is so anxiety-inducing. I am suddenly very angry at my teenage self for not getting her license- which has never appealed to me, an anxious driver until now.
I have also left my sharehouse out of fear that I won't be able to make rent on my now reduced hours. This has meant moving in with my family, which hasn't been easy. My sister has been battling an eating disorder for the past 4 years. She is a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant person, but she can also be very volatile and difficult to live with. I'm living in my childhood bedroom again and I can hear her eating and purging in the next room. I don't know what else to offer her in terms of help. We keep saying to her, that's she's capable of anything, that she's amazing and talented, but eventually one gets weary from constantly having to say exclusively encouraging things to someone. It is especially hard to be nice to hear at times because she can so often be manipulative and cruel. Though I know this is not intentional it still hurts.
I am also completing my degree from my bedroom. I am, to be honest, gutted that I'm spending my final year of university like this. I am struggling to motivate myself and find myself exhausted after hours of zoom classes.
I'm dreaming of the days were we don't bathe in sanitizer, and when I can hug my loved ones again. Soon, it feels near now.