Diary Entries

My thoughts are about the positive things that have emerged from this time, and for me they are the little things. There are days when everything is quiet and still in my neighbourhood where noise is always present. I can stand in my back garden and hear the camellia petals fall. I can walk onto busy Forest Road at 8 am and there isn’t a car in sight. I can lie in bed at night and hear ...silence where normally it is the roar of a plane overhead. For me this is bliss. It seems as though we have been given permission to do what is healthy and good - slow right down. Find a comfy seat and become absorbed in stitching, or reading, or day dreaming. It has been a joy to watch the surge in creativity and sharing of music or words online. Singing from balconies, dancing in the streets, online festivals and short videos. There is so much to see that time can hardly contain it all. These are now a part of my life which did not exist before. Human connection still abounds and fills the heart. We all check on each other more. Quiz night via Zoom, text messages to elderly parents once a day, Facebook messages to friends and family overseas. The only thing missing is a hug. Finally nature which never lets us down. Reclaiming quiet streets and cleaner canals. Blooming, thriving, soothing our soul. All these things I hope will last long after the pandemic has left our world.

Lockdown Lament Day 11 of Lockdown For several years now we girls have assembled to play table tennis with skill that resembled the moves of young people, so deft and surprising with shots most spectacular while exercising to keep ourselves fit and our brains interactive, our balance maintained and our bodies attractive. Then along came the virus to spoil all our fun and keep us apart so there now could be none of our weekly connection and memory training. I’m sure that our love for the game is not waning and long for resumption at some time ahead when we can emerge and corona is dead.

What is the Matter With …… by Sue 25/03/20 Day 2 of Lockdown What is the matter with rain on this earth? Sometimes too much and then there’s a dearth. Although that’s our history, things seem to be worse. What is the matter with rain on this earth? What is the matter with fire in our land? It seems to be widespread with flames that are fanned By winds catastrophic, beyond our command What is the matter with fire in this land? What is the matter with us, human kind? Struck down by a virus and no one can find A cure or a vaccine to ease all our minds What is the matter with human kind? What is the future for this human race? Can we stop global warming before it’s too late? Or will coal drive recovery to speed up the pace? What is the future for this human race?

My baby will be 6 months old tomorrow. 6 months that have changed our lives. 6 months in which the world that we thought we were bringing her in to has changed irrevocably. When she was a newborn, I would watch the news and see our nation devoured by bushfires. The air in Sydney became unsafe for her tiny lungs and people on the street started wearing masks. It felt new, this fear of the invisible, of micro particles in the air that could cause so much damage. The smoke finally did dissipate, the fires were put out, but the masks remained. A new threat, once again invisible, but this time a virus. I began to feel nervous of every friendly interaction, scared of every passerby who would stop to peer into the pram at the little girl who was growing chubbier each week. One day over the clatter of a busy cafe I was complaining to a friend about having to cancel our overseas trip - the one we were taking our daughter to meet her grandparents. The next day, things began to lock down. My husband brought home his computer from work and set up in our bedroom. Over the past few weeks we have been encased in our own little family cocoon. And in that space, our little girl has thrived. From rolling around the living room floor, to trying her first foods - banana (a winner) and peas (definitely not). These are the images of lockdown that I will remember. While the threat of being made redundant looms in the background and video calls can't make up for the lost hugs from grandparents, watching our baby grow has turned a time of anguish and uncertainty into one of discovery and of hope.

The Apple Store is open! Wow. I can finally pick up by free Beat's Headphones that I ordered in early March but couldn't pick up because the store closed. It's now May 8th. I lined up 1.5 metres behind the person in front of me when a Security Guard walked up to me to ask me which direction did I come from? I stretched out my arm to indicate the direction toward David Jones. Oh so I did not enter via the main entrance from the street? No I did not enter from the street. I was redirected to line up again to get my temperature checked and to also read a big sign that I had not been in contact with anyone with Covid 19, I did not have a cough, I did not feel unwell. Once I read the sign and said "no" to each question, I could proceed to have my temperature checked with an electronic beep. I was deemed "OK" and could proceed to go back into one of the two lines to enter the store. I did not enter the store. I had to stay outside, showed my ID and the Apple assistant called someone to get my order. Every staff member had a face mask on. The security guards were dressed in black. It is the new normal. It is like a Sci Fi movie, robotic, distant, clinical. I am living in this but it is not a movie. It is real.

My connections. My connections are here in Sydney but also in New York, Guernsey, France, London, Hong Kong, China, Singapore, Hanoi, Tokyo, Toronto. So what's the latest news? New York- my aunt Julia died from Covid 19 related pneumonia two Sunday's ago. She was 84 and was in a nursing home in New Jersey where a worker tested positive five weeks ago. London- my friend is not going to open my parcel sent from Sydney in case it has Covid 19 on it. She is leaving it in the glasshouse in her garden for a couple of days. My parcel took a whole month to get there. Usually it takes 10 days. Hong Kong- my brother's kids still have not gone back to school. They had Christmas holidays and now it's the 8th May. They are at 9 and 11 years old. Guernsey- my friend is in lockdown. She's not working as a casual teacher as schools have closed. Doesn't know when she will get work again. France- my elderly friend said there's a "Chinese virus" going around. Maybe the news is American? China- no news. It seems all is fine. My dad hasn't said anything about the relatives, so they must be fine. Singapore - well my friend said she is working from home. Hanoi- restrictions are being lifted, the lockdown is over but my friend has been advised to keep social distancing. Tokyo- my friend and her family are all fine. Her girls play with the neighbours kids. Toronto- my aunt has shared videos with me so I can learn to cook authentic Chinese food from Hong Kong videos. Well this weekend I will see my sister, my connection in Sydney.

Well it's been another week of remote teaching using Zoom to see the kids at school. This week I did two cooking lessons, one with Year 9 and the other one with the Year 10 boys. Both classes made a pasta dish. The boys love cooking and it is amazing to see how organised they are in their own kitchens at home. On the Zoom screen they can see each other as well and the students who finish early can eat and watch the show. This week I have been also inspired to cook. I have learnt how to cook in the last few weeks ham and pea soup for my dad who tasted it at my school's Open Day last year. I wanted to make something nice for him to eat. I had never bought a ham hock before in my life, however, the recipe called for one and I just bought one from the butcher shop. The slow cooker works wonders. It cooks overnight and the smell of soup wafting through the morning while I waken, is life again. It beckons to say "eat me" but not in the Alice in Wonderland story where some strange things happen. No, the soup is a testament to being alive and being able to carry on and help another person appreciate being alive with memories of a time past where you could go and buy soup in a crowd of people. Yes, this week I have been inspired to cook and I made Jamie Oliver's ratatouille rustic style with aubergines and courgettes but we call them egg plant and zucchini. I've also made Luke Nyguen's auntie's steamed fish recipe for Lunar New Year. Fish he said is a symbol of wealth. I am fortunate to be a teacher in the pandemic.

Today is VE Day. Scott Morrison spoke today, about the three stages of lifting restrictions that have been in place, for many weeks. I have friends in Cambridgeshire, England, who have been in lockdown for 12 weeks and have been told this might extend, until Christmas. I have friends in Cheshire, England, who have lost their mother. She died in her own home, after a fall that was not COVID-19 related. They cannot see her and she will be buried in a hospital gown, rather than the favourite dress she had specified. They cannot have the funeral service they would want for her. Locally, in Umina Beach on the NSW Central Coast, I have another friend, whose mother died, in her nursing home, also not COVID-19 related. Again, there was no funeral service - the body was cremated and the ashes were delivered to my friend’s workplace. Meanwhile, what about me? My husband and I operate a small business - Peninsular Office Supplies. Considered an essential service, supplying the necessary goods to both businesses and home workers, we have remained open, throughout the lockdown. My husband is committed to his business and his customers. Closing was not an option, not only because he’s devoted to his customers, but also because we really need an income. We have staff that need to keep their jobs and for whom we feel deeply responsible. However, the overall affect on me has been minimal. Apart from the social distancing, not much has changed for me. I go to work, sometimes. If it’s quiet, the boss tells me to stay at home, which suits me fine. I continue to make regular deliveries to customers, then shop as usual. I feel blessed, in this strange time, to be able to live my life, almost normally.

Today ended up better than I expected. I took my sister to the doctor's yesterday so she is back in quarantine in her nursing home for another 14 days so I thought I should tell her kids that she was well and thought the home was doing a good job keeping her safe even though I was tired and didn't really want to bother. I was sure they would be worried, with what's going on at Newmarch House and it can be difficult to get her because mobile phone reception and internet connection is so bad there. Fancy building a nursing home with such crummy connections these days! Most 70 year-olds I know have mobile phones, tablets, iPads and PCs, and just about everything we have to do is online these days. Anyway, when I logged on this morning, there was a lovely email from Jodi so I am glad I made the effort. My students were also quiet this morning even with an assessment due, so checking on them didn't take long - another plus for the day. Peter's leg still looks pretty awful so we had to fit in another trip to the doctor as well as shopping and my exercise class (I HATE Zoom - even with my camera off). The doctor was happy so that was good news too. We were late getting to the supermarket though and all two (!) disabled spots were gone. I could have done without having to juggle my chair and shopping - just makes everything more painful. Still, I got Peter into the garden late afternoon - it was too lovely a day to spend indoors on the computer. Cheered us both up. Will see our boys this weekend too. Lots to celebrate tonight. Cheers!

Another day closer to when everything might go back to a semblance of 'normal.' The city has been a little more populated, the buses departing from the stands at QVB in this peak hour are carrying a handful of passengers instead of none at all. It's been interesting seeing public transport carry on as if nothing has happened... People ringing the bookshop have more of an expectation that we will be open. As the restrictions lighten, it seems that some of the public think that everything is back to normal, that all the shops will be open for personal shoppers. We have managed to stay afloat with web and phone orders and skeleton staff, and it's actually been quite refreshing in a way not to have customers in the store, but we will be trialling opening to the public from next week. Asking them nicely, of course, to keep 1.5 metres apart, not come in if they feel unwell, and to sanitise their hands, please. Getting rather tired of the smell and feel of hand sanitiser liquid (and despite being told not to, it is rather interesting how many times you do touch your face and rub your eyes - not recommended when your hands are anointed by alcohol cleansers!) Times were tough before Covid19 and they probably won't be that much better once shops are open again, but the bookshop is in a better position than the cafes, bars, restaurants that once fed and watered the crowds. The people might come back, but the worry is, will those services? How have they paid rent and utility bills on spaces that haven't earnt any money? Will they have the funds to start up all over again? Everything won't be back to normal. We just hope it might be.